The conflict

  1. An oldie but goodie (maybe?): Marry Him by Lori Gottlieb. I have my strong doubts, but sometimes I wonder. I think with a tinge of regret sometimes about men I’ve dated, and whom maybe I could have made it work with (maybe easily, with some compromise on both parts). Sometimes I get very sad and feel like I’ve missed a ship that has sailed, especially when I’m feeling lonely (or frustrated with the absolutely ridiculous world that is online dating anymore, or even just dating in your fucking 30s). But: in preparation for moving last year I went through a lot of old papers and discovered some typewriter-typed notes (obviously very legitimate) that made me remember why one of these relationships I was being so sappy about didn’t work out. It’s easy to gloss over the slightly intolerable in retrospect. It is **much** harder to come to terms with being content on your own.
  2. Lines of a poem discovered today:
    Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
    confinement of your aloneness
    to learn
    anything or anyone
    that does not bring you alive
    is too small for you.
    — David Whyte (via Brain Pickings)

I guess the jury is out, but I think I’m leaning towards being alive. This song comes to mind.

I’m probably your brave friend who says, “I don’t care if forever never comes, I’m holding out for that teenage feeling.”

If this topic concerns you at all (I feel like many of my semi-known still-readers aren’t in this boat with me!), Spinster: Making a Life of One’s Own, by Kate Bollick, was a very, very good book. Though I do wonder how it all translates to life in rural Montana (or even in not-New-York/Boston). Maybe that’s my book to write.



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3 responses to “The conflict

  1. Lindsey P

    Always love reading what you’re up to. Glad your back for a bit, or maybe for a long bit (I hope, selfishly).

    • Lindsey P

      Always love reading what you’re up to. Glad you’rer back for a bit, or maybe for a long bit (I hope, selfishly).

  2. Lindsey P

    Oh my WORD! my grammer and spelling sucks. I should go to school again.

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