May 2014

So eight months later, I’m still alive, much like the undergraduates I’ve been working with.  And I’m about to graduate myself.  It’s been a tough, rough, year.  Or few years, maybe.  It’s May now — sounds spring-like, but it’s definitely still snowing here.  School is out, and I’m working 3/4 time at the state hospital, which I love so far.  Technically I graduate this week, and also technically not, because I have a couple more months of internship left. In September you can call me Dr., though.  Which is totally freaking weird.  And awesome.

Things:  I should be excited about graduating, but instead I am more worried about fitting into a dress that I bought for graduation (and eternity) six months ago.  The truth is that I have gained about 35 lbs getting this degree.  I would like to think it’s like having a kid.  But it’s not.  And the weight shames me.  I’m going to be a doctor!  And yet my weight makes me fret like I’m Barbie trying to maintain something I never attained. Fuck this.  I am too feminist and pro- health-at-any-size for this.  And yet it gets to me, that number on the scale / dress size.  Bleh, fuck, bleh.

I love Montana, its glacier-carved landscape…  It’s like Colorado, only once you pass through one mountain range and valley, there’s another…  and another…  and another.  And it’s so green.  I miss the desert, sometimes, but on the whole this is amazing.  Everyone: move here.  Only not into the sprawly suburbs of Bozeman…

But the sprawly suburbs of Bozeman do kind of look like this (from the Target parking lot):

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And this (not really a suburb at all, but part of Yellowstone National Park, not far away):

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xoxo.

& come visit.

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