Most Likely to…

When I go to my parents’ house I kind of just want to lie on the couch all day and veg out in front of the Food Network, reading or nodding off when it fails to hold my attention or someone turns the channel to sports or Modern Marvels.  Today I was bribed to venture out “for lunch,” which turned into “the honey store and then lunch,” which turned into “be ambushed by chat with high school friend’s mom at the honey store and then eat lunch at a place where I used to work and where a high school classmate’s sister is now waiting tables.”  All of this is merely to say that I wish I’d put on makeup and maybe not ventured out with such disastrous hair (due to the hard water, I think).  But whatever, at least when they ask, “Is there anyone special?” and I answer, “No.  Lots of false starts,” they can attribute it to my lack of makeup and my fluffy hair in need of product and my general state of going downhill and perhaps lack of trying instead of whatever other reasons there really are.  Well, in addition to those other reasons, maybe.

I don’t know why it bothered me so much today, but it really did.  I feel like my education doesn’t matter down there, nor do my great friends or good job or nice little apartment — it all comes down to “significant others” and “little ones,” and that’s just not a game I’m hoping to win (or really even play).  It’s okay.  I’ve got mascara on now, and my hair is almost good, even, and I’m headed out to set the record straight.

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “Most Likely to…

  1. If it makes you feel any better…I’d sooo much rather be you right now. I know that sounds dumb, but I sure as heck don’t pity people who aren’t married and don’t have kids. If anything, sometimes I envy them.

    Regardless…the goal (I guess?) should be to love and accept whoever you are and “Be All You Can Be”. Stupid self-actualization, anyway!

    It’s interesting, though. I think the trap of …well, whatever life accessories you have (whether it’s job, kids, house, lifestyle) is that they distract you from certain inner truths. Or maybe I should say that certain inner truths exist regardless of whatever trappings you have.

    Sigh. Sorry…I am rambling on your page as usual.

    I guess I’m grateful to have a nice husband and sweet child, but it’s not what it appears on the surface, and so don’t be fooled by those Joneses that are supposedly the ones to keep up with.

    Life is hard for everyone…

  2. p.s. what I wanted to say more than that ramble that I just posted is that I hope you someday FULLY realize what a great person you are and to hell with the rest of the other crap. It’s my personal mission to try to instill this in people. Probably a bad idea, I guess…:D

  3. Also…apologies if these comments are obnoxious to you. Please keep in mind I am crazy and sleep deprived. 🙂 I think I should just stop commenting on blogs to keep on the safe side…

  4. Yeah, it’s different for everyone and we all have our own struggles, and it’s easier to think someone else’s grass is greener. I guess I just get tired of being in a place (home, when I venture out of my parents’ house) where it feels like those things are valued above all else…

  5. Yeah, I don’t blame you. I’ve never liked venturing out of the house in the Valley! Even or especially when I lived there…

    For me it’s more of a fear of the conservative, Christian values that I don’t share. I’m always surprised when there’s someone that doesn’t fit into that mold from the Valley. I guess that’s sort of close-minded of me to assume that everyone is like that.

    I think you should carry around a photo of Bat Boy and say it’s your child. That will shut them up and they may leave you alone…heheheee.

  6. Brown’s, called something else now.

  7. Lindsey

    I thought your hair looked nice :-). I wish I had hair like that. At least people aren’t saying that you have the “exact same hair she had in high school” which they are most certainly saying about me.

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