Halloween is Not My Holiday

I’m more into Independence Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas. Valentine’s Day, Easter, Labor Day. El Dia de los Muertos, Flag Day, Labor Day, President’s Day… Anything that doesn’t require dressing up, basically…

Costumes I remember:

  • Angel (I think I was 2, maybe I only remember the pictures and the nightgown that I wore for the next couple of years)
  • Clown (only remember pictures; it was cute)
  • Southern Belle (my mom sewed it! Wow, Mom!)
  • Mouse with cookie (from If You Give a Mouse a Cookie)
  • Raisin (I think it began as grapes, and quickly deteriorated (meaning the purple balloons were popped by pine-needle-wielding seventh graders, leaving me as a “raisin” in a Glad bag with wilty purple balloons).
  • Plus lots of ice-skating, non-Halloween costumes — my mom was genius at creating these to our specifications, for better or for worse (like “Under the Sea” — I wanted to appear as though I was covered in seaweed — she should have protested, but she pulled through!)

After 7th Grade, I was deemed too old to dress up and trick-or-treat. Fair enough. Halloween was a source of great stress. It still is. I’ve only had to dress up once since 1993 (as Jelly Bellys), and I hated every second of it. In 2002 I bought a black wig and wore it on Halloween, but I didn’t have any kind of plan other than “Leslie with black hair and eyeliner.” People kept guessing, but there was no answer to “what I was.” It was uncomfortable.

This year… This year I have to break my rule of not going to Halloween parties. It’s complicated (well, it’s not, but the host is charming, and the rule is thus broken). I was hesitant at first; I’m adjusting to the idea. I’m going as a detective. An unsexy detective (why do some people use the holiday as a reason to take their clothes off? It totally goes against my 13-is-too-old-for-trick-or-treating upbringing…). Anyway, it will be more about the “act” of detecting than the “look,” though I hope to achieve the “look,” too, with a fabulous thrift store trench coat I love and don’t wear enough. Regardless, it will not look like this.



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6 responses to “Halloween is Not My Holiday

  1. Lindsey

    I’m going to be a pregnant doctor having contractions for halloween :-). Don’t worry, my doctor is sitting right next to me as we are both on call (and no baby is coming out, of me at least, tonight). Have fun at your party.

  2. Hooray for unsexy detectives!

    I loved Sherlock Holmes…although I don’t know whether he was sexy or not.

    I didn’t really dress up this year. I do like to dress up, and I just think of it as an extension of art–body art/jewelry/painting/blah blah. BUT even though I enjoy there is this weird element of tension that springs from it. What do I dress up as? I don’t want to spend much money–I don’t want it to be too corny (unless that’s what I’m going for). Etc.

    I also am trying to avoid ‘scary’ costumes (as well as sexy costumes for the most part) because I don’t want to scare Pele. One year (before Pele was born) I dressed up as ‘Insane Widow’ (I had a nametag that said this). I wore a black dress–something you’d see someone wear to a funeral in the 60’s or 70’s or earlier and mussed my hair up, and drew scratches all over my face, etc. I think I scared the crap out of some poor little girl who was trick-or-treating at my house…so I don’t do that anymore.

    That is all.

    Hope you have a good time at your heretofore shunned shindig!



  3. The sexy detective costume was so funny, I haven’t seen that one before. Maria and I always joke about all the “sexy” versions of normal costumes. I’d love to see some really creative “sexy” costumes like Sexy Whoopi Goldberg, Sexy Taco Bell Employee or Sexy Mathematician.

  4. Mathematicians are *always* sexy, though… 😉

  5. melissa

    I’m totally with you — couldn’t hate Halloween more. I did get some mileage out of my “costume” this year, though:

    Ask me what I’m supposed to be.
    What are you supposed to be?

  6. I’m so tired of the co-opting of Halloween into Slutoween. Those costumes aren’t even original – they’re all basically the same with different color schemes. No thank you.

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