One Year

I started this blog one year ago today, on January 1, 2007, mostly without any prior planning, and mostly because I’d been looking at other people’s blogs, thinking “I could do that…” Of course it takes a lot more work than I’d anticipated, and I ended up with a personal blog without much focus. I’m down with that. If I had to blog about what I ate for lunch every day, I might make some money, but this is way, way better.

So, all things considered, it’s a pretty self-centered thing, this blogging. I like sharing things with people, and I like keeping in touch, but really, this is about me, what I like, my life. Does my opinion need its own platform? Not really. But no one forces anyone to read it. I kind of like the passiveness of a blog — no one’s feeding it to you through your inbox, it’s just here when you feel like visiting, and still here if you don’t. Also, strangers can discover it, and I think that’s fascinating.

It started off a little more introspective, swung public (lots of posts about other people’s stuff, partly because people actually started reading this and I freaked out a little), and maybe, I hope, it’s at a happy medium now.  I’ve intentionally kept some things off of the blog, like the greater part of my dating life… But I’ve found that when I do write about these more personal things, nothing awful happens (so far).  It can even feel really nice.

This is the biggest thing the blog has done for me: Here I have a record of myself, and it’s a public record. I have a lot of friends who are very different from me, and very different from each other. At some point I started to wonder if this was because I was particularly accepting, or because I was malleable and could just mold to anyone’s expectations, losing myself in the process. The worry was probably needless — of course I have a core self, and of course I’m influenced by people around me. There’s nothing wrong with that.

But did other people really see me? In the first months of the blog, a close friend said “that’s not the Leslie I know,” and it hurt.  I wondered who this person thought I was. It also made me think that maybe I was too quiet about my thoughts and feelings and preferences. Those don’t always come out in conversations, even with my closest friends. I tend to listen to (and do) whatever someone else chooses, quite happily for the most part. I like being exposed to new things, but I need to have the confidence in my own ideas and preferences and experiences to expose others to them. And at its core, that’s what the blog has been. Part online, public journal, part confidence booster, part platform for whatever I want. It’s about being okay with being seen.

So, thanks for reading, even when you tire of my impersonal “look at this” phases, my incessant posting about food phases, my occasional whining. I’m having a lot of fun, and I hope you are, too… I’m looking forward to another year.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “One Year

  1. I think your blog is a great way to keep up-to-date even when we may not get to see each other. I feel like I talk to you nearly every day.

  2. I really enjoy your blog. It’s really interesting to me–this whole world of blogging. I find it really comforting, somehow, to read about friends and strangers alike online. I think it says something about our generation being communicative and open, and less afraid of showing ourselves, even though I suspect there are still insecurities and vestiges of the soon-to-be-bygone eras where people only revealed these things in private.

    I’ve always valued communication and connection with others, and I’ve been on the ‘internet’ since I was 15, which I thought for a long time was a handicap, but I met many friends and my husband there, and I don’t think it’s creepy or socially inept to hang out on the internet and share information.

    Keep up the great work!

    Your Uncle,

    Hannah

  3. Hannah,
    I remember when we had geometry together, and the computers weren’t networked, but you would leave me little notes on my computer! It was like my first pseudo-email experience. 🙂 I think it’s ironic and yet so fitting that thirteen years later, after a long hiatus, we’re corresponding similarly. Happy New Year.

  4. Here’s to another year. Without this blog, I might not know you at all, so I am sure happy about this.

    Happy New Year!

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