I think I may have given myself an actual milk allergy. It was not exactly “actual” before, in that I would ingest a dairy product and then experience some sort of symptom. I was ingesting dairy all the time, and my body was dealing with it. Not happily, but I just thought I wasn’t blessed with a happy body, milk or no milk.
Yesterday I bought some gluten-free bread from Whole Foods without reading the label. I had a few moments of intense emotional instability* and ate three slices with peanut butter (the fourth slice burned). And then I looked at the ingredients, the first of which was milk. Shit. So last night I was okay — a little rumbly. But today: Not okay. I also had this idea in my head that I could handle goat’s milk and sheep’s milk (which I seem to be able to do, in small amounts) — I thought it was because they didn’t have lactose, but they actually do. Apparently they are typically easier to digest, though.
*In general I can deal with rejection, but I don’t do so well with the ambiguity of being ignored (I guess it’s not really ambiguous, is it?). Cow’s milk: I wholeheartedly reject you. And I vow to be more careful with lactose and my heart.