Moments of Honesty

On a Saturday night I am drunk off of a malbec with an upside-down label,

kono baru

contemplating a gluten-free beer (the wine is gone — thanks in (very small) part to Christopher, who had a bit (and no more!)). I’m having an emotional week — lots of change, nothing unmanageable, but it’s a little tough all at once (school starting, workspace changing, new roommate (she’s great!), sister (and former roommate) across the country (1,752 miles away!!), maybe starting a new class (or maybe dropping one), etc., etc., etc.. It’s all fine. The dumbest thing I can think of right now is that my performance review paperwork is due soon — next week (first week of classes — makes a lot of sense, right?) — and I haven’t done anything. I must: figure out what my primary duties and goals are, put them in writing, determine “percentages” for each goal and duty, and submit them. This sounds like a much easier thing than it actually is.

Should I drop the GIS class? It’s a “free” course — $200 = books + fees, but no tuition (would be $1520). This week I won’t have time, but I’ll go. I’ll miss the last week (of ten, total)…

[opening the beer]

Drinking won’t help. Today was fine: I began this morning thinking I may have to work all weekend, but the database problem was fixed by 11 (God bless Alex, my savior and programmer extraordinaire, without whom my job would be entirely impossible)… I hung out at work for a while longer to Sort Things Out before leaving on the grander errands: buying a new bra (these bras have changed my life — anyone who has ever needed a bra ever (for sexy or practical purposes) needs to go to Sol Lingerie in Cherry Creek (I feel a little weird about saying this because I don’t know who’s reading, but it’s true, and you should all either go or inspire someone to go there — it makes a great gift certificate!!), finding a cart for the grad students so they don’t ruin their backs carting books back and forth between our office and the library, eating, eating, eating… drinking.

Next week will be fine, too. The classrooms won’t work. The classrooms don’t work. I wish I could pawn this part of my job off on someone else, but everyone else pawns it off on me, and I am the New One (if nothing else, I deserve capitals). The images are up. I hope everyone is happy. I want to help people; I don’t want to serve them. I think there’s a difference. And I think I walk a fine line.

I realize, looking at my recent photos, that I haven’t posted many lately… Here are a couple:

Futile Tool

 

(a futile tool — don’t buy one of these unless you have a lot of pants you never wear — it takes like 10 minutes to get them on and off the damn hanger)

 

Valley in the Distance

 

(this is where I took Erica and Lacey last weekend — in the distance is the Valley, where I spent a few (5/13) of my Formative Years — this is actually just up the road (10 miles, maybe?) from my parents’ house)

 

s brook

 

(S-shaped here, the San Francisco Creek meanders down to the Valley)

 

happy feet

 

(happy, bootless feet in the Creek — jumping across it and back was unnecessarily scary — thanks, Lacey, for grabbing my hand as I jumped back across… It meant a lot. šŸ™‚ )

Tomorrow: my first solitary hike; 5 miles (each way) off of Kenosha Pass. I want to be sore on Monday. I hope it is enough.

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1 Comment

Filed under hiking, Life, work

One response to “Moments of Honesty

  1. Gorgeous pictures….makes me feel free.

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